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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the terms gen Z is using to navigate romance, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – For gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your choice to pursue a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {